So I’ve been slackin’ with my bloggin’…

Yesterday, I completely didn’t blog at all???

I guess I’m gonna have to do a quick summary of what went down yesterday..

Woke up around 10 AM- Drank some Diet Mountain Dew

Jogged/Walked on the Treadmill 4 miles in 52 minutes…

Ate lunch – Flat-Out Wrap, Fajita Chicken, Watermelon and a popcicle…

Wasted some time on my laptop afters…

Then at 1:40 PM, hopped back on the Treadmill for 2 miles in 24 minutes…

At 3:10 – Left for work…

Work 3:30 – 9 – Was actually somewhat fun…worked with Rachel and Sarah and new girl Jessica…

Ate 1.5 Flat-Out Wraps on my 15

Got home at 9:15 –

Here’s were I messed up. My goal was to not eat anything and I kind of failed at that…

I ended up eating the 1/2 Flat-Out wrap I had left,

then had about 6 popcicles, 1/2 box of Fiber One Original Cereal with a little milk, about 2 1/2 cups of Cheerios (possibly 3 cups…?) and another Flat-Out Wrap…

Watched Horrible Bosses- funny movie!

Overall, it was an alright day. Could have did better with my eating, but overall not “too” bad. Β I really have to ease my way into breaking my old bad binging habits…which is what I have been trying to do. I could be doing better…but so far it’s been..okay. Today could have DEFINITELY been better regarding eating less…. 😦

Finally bedtime at 2:30 AM.


Now! Back to today!!

Woke up at 10: 30 AM.

Jogged but mainly walked on Treadmill – 4 miles in 53 minutes (first 2 miles in 25 minutes, 1 mile in 13 minutes, final 1 mile in 15 minutes)

At 12:15 – had lunch with Mom and David like usual…

Ate a Flat-Out Wrap, a serving of Fajita Chicken, a bowl of Watermelon, 1 smaller sized hard-boiled egg and a orange popcicle.

Afters- I’ve been wasting some time on my laptop!! Gonna hit the Treadmill again in a little bit hopefully, if we stay home today…


Briefly combed cats for “fleas” ew

David “modeled” some of his pants for mom and I. LOL

From 2:05 – 2:31 PM – Treadmill – 2 miles in 26 minutes

Afters took another shower…


Almost gone… :(

Summer is almost gone…


Today I woke up at 9:50 AM. I attempted to get up at 8:30…but didn’t succeed.

Oh well. Anyway, at 10 AM I had a gnawing feeling so I decided to eat 1 Flat-Out wrap while watching The View.

& drank some Diet Mtn Dew of course.

Afters..from 10:20-11:25 AM I jogged/walked on the Treadmill (Jogged 2 miles in 23 minutes, 2 miles in 26 minutes, 1 mile in 15 minutes…5 miles total in 64 minutes!)

Then came typical lunch…with mom and David.

I ate another Flat-Out wrap, 3 small chunks of Fajita Chicken meat, 1/2 bowl of watermelon and an orange popcicle.

Mom left for her interview at GSI at 1…

At 1:20 PM-1:44 PM- I jogged/walked 2 more miles on the Treadmill, which I did in 24 minutes (so far 7 miles on the Treadmill today- AWESOME!)

Well..Now I’m gonna cool down and sip some Diet Mtn Dew…Hopefully the day will continue to be alright πŸ™‚

I finished revising, putting together my entire app until Mom got home…

Decided to watch KUWTK new Bora Bora episode until Dinner…

For dinner I ate a Flat-Out Wrap, over a serving of Fajita Chicken meat, a serving of 4 cheese instant potatoes, a bowl of Watermelon, and a popcicle…

After supper, I kind of wasted time on my laptop I guess, and I held Tiggy and Fluff for a bit.

Mom & I went on a walk at 7- We walked our middle loop and then 2x around Kyes…


We got back at 8 PM and I had a major snack attack. 😦 😦 😦

I know it was because I did not eat enough calories or fat or protein during the day to satisfy myself at night. So from 8 until midnight I basically ate. Pretty sad, I know.

I had about 12 popcicles (after awhile I began to lose track…)

2 orange bowls full of air popped popcorn with 4-5 servings of cane sugar…

I finished one box of Fiber One Cereal (it had about 5 servings left in it…)

and then I began a second box and ate one entire side (roughly 7.5 servings of Fiber One Original)

Even after all that…I felt bloated but I still felt “hungry”. I have a feeling this was only because I chose poorly and ate mainly carbs.

I finished my “binge” with 3 flat-out wraps.

Not something to be proud of.


I know I exercised a lot today (7 miles on the treadmill, plus walk with mom…) but I ate pretty poorly. I know nerves were definitely taking advantage of me tonight…I always get somewhat stressed the nights before I work…and I really don’t want to work my shift on Saturday. I’m also freaked about school starting in a week.

I just don’t know how to handle my life.

But I do know one thing…eating like this makes it much, MUCH worse.

Lesson “Learned”:When I do a lot of cardio in a single day like today, I have to eat more fat & protein during the day so I don’t binge this bad or better yet not at all at night.

I also can’t eat like this to cope with my life. I have to listen better to my emotions instead of ignoring them and filling my gut instead. This way of handling my life is just making it completely worse.


My goal for tomorrow is to not eat ANYTHING when I come home from work. I can have a wrap or possibly 2 during my 15, but I cannot eat anything when I get home at 9:15 tomorrow.Β 

Seriously. This will be hard. Especially since I’ll probably be tired and looking for energy…and most likely will be stressed.

But my goal is to fight back and not eat anything. I ruined tonight and I can’t get away with that.Β 

I do not need to eat like this ever again and that includes most certainly tomorrow.

If I feel like I do…I must just go to bed.

What a day. I could have done much better today. So much better.

XOOX Virgin Olives

And then there were nine…

Life’s Hourglass.

Nine days left until..SCHOOL.


“Good” News: Dad decided to work overtime today. yay?

Well, today I woke up at 10 AM. Shopko, my special place of employment awoke me this morning at 9:05 AM. Elaine begged me to come in and work for Sam who is supposedly “sick”, although was perfectly present yesterday at work. 10:15-6:15 – hell to the no.

Summary: Ignored voice mail- back to sleep πŸ™‚

So I finally got out of bed at about 10:10 AM because Mom flew into my room demanding I see this big gray cat hanging out on our deck. Thrilling.

Then I listened to her contemplate whether or not she should go to Shopko (I of course, would rather she didn’t) but she did.

I jogged, but mainly walked on the Treadmill [ 3 miles in 36 minutes ; 1 mile in 15 minutes] for 51 minutes while she was gone.

Then Sunday lunch was spent at the mall as usual.

I ate Subway of course, Ham on Flat Bread with lots of veggies & a Diet Coke.

We spent an hour driving around UWEC after. Finally arrived home at 2 pm.

I wonder what the rest of the day will bring…hmmmm πŸ™‚

Well I went outside and collected some weeds for my new painting…that took some time.

I painted for about an hour. Wasted some time on my laptop after until Supper.

For supper I ate 2 slices of Jack Pizza, some Spaghetti, a bowl or 2 of Watermelon and 3 Hard Boiled Eggs.

Oh and a Orange Popcicle. yum.

Bothered David in his bedroom..that’s always fun.

Mom & I walked earlier tonight. We walked 3x around Kyes loop, did middle loop and lastly Olsen loop. Nice long walk.

Finished writing Standard 1! WOOT WOOT

Ate 2 orange bowls of Air Popped Popcorn – 2nd bowl with about 3 servings of Cane Sugar

Afters had about 5 servings of Fiber One Original cereal…

Then 3 popcicles…

So yeah, definitely didn’t do as well as I hoped today for eating, but it is still a major improvement compared to some past nights…or rather most past nights.

I have to appreciate every little success like this. Because tonight, although I did “overeat”, it was NOTHING compared to how I used to overeat.

Therefore…I’m on the right path to one less binge πŸ™‚ I caught myself, and finished all my “eating” for the night before 10 PM. Β Even brushed those teeth.

Now..Gonna finish watching Jersey Shore – the fight episode… πŸ™‚


XOOX Virgin Olives

Ripe & Ready


Well, well, well so it begins!

For years I have SUFFERED, STRUGGLED and learned?

I learned that my life is not what I want it to be.

But it could be worse.

It’s difficult to think of how it could be worse. I mean, what is worse than isolating yourself from everyone in your life? Feeling like you have zero close friends?

I guess I could be starving in Africa πŸ˜₯

That would be much, MUCH worse.

I’ve been a severe emotional, lonely, addicted, nightly, binge eater for quite some time now (try 2+ years).

I’ve tried everything to stop. EVERYTHING.

So much of everything it consumed me like I was consuming all the food.

But I have never listened. I never tried to listen to what my binging was telling me. It will never be possible to lose the weight I’ve gained from binging (12 sorry lbs) if I don’t listen to what it’s been trying to say.

I think I have an idea of what is trying to say. Tonight, unfortunately, once again I ignored it. But it wasn’t as bad of binge as nearly half are.

Then again, that was before I created this lovely blog.

This blog is not just for writing. And it certainly is not for your reading.

It’s for my listening.

Hopefully each day I truly listen, can lead to one less binge.

XOOOX Virgin Olives

P.S- Scarlett was painted by an artist with great inner pain.

Guess who that artist was?